8th February 2001 Hi Everyone! Hope you all had a great festive season while I was gone. I had a wonderful time in the United States... what an incredible country! There were also some 'downers' but on the whole I wouldn't have missed doing the trip for anything, It was all experience. If you want to read about our travels click HERE. In the meantime.... we have been
home since the 5th of February, Saturday afternoon to be
exact. What a let down! Heat - Humidity - Rain! It had
been a long and tiring trip home and Jared, my grandson
didn't help matters Jason, my son, met us at the airport. Jared was so glad to see his Dad.. so were we... (at the time *S*) we were an hour late but hey, what's new! After travelling around the States for 7 weeks we were used to it *S* We arrived home... grass needing cut... trees and shrubs needing trimmed... then we went inside! Jason assured us he spent very little time at home.. RIGHT! Very little time picking up after HIMSELF !! What is it with men that they have to have someone running around after them cleaning up their mess? Our TV room was full of video and computer equipment strewn everywhere. The fridge was empty, no milk nor even a loaf of bread. The laundry was strewn with dog shampoo, dirty towels (for the dogs), brushes... need I go on? The dogs must have been washed for the first time in 8 weeks the day before we got home. I could have cried. We left the place spotless before our trip and now it was a disaster. To add to that WE brought home 5 suitcases and 3 pieces of carry on luggage.
Well, we were so tired it stayed that way for 2 more days! Then the ROT SET IN and I could stand it no longer, BUT it seemed as soon as I cleaned the place up, someone would come along and dump more rubbish. Well, Jamie made a couple of decisions there and then! Excercising these decisions is another thing.....
From now on I am going to be number one in this family. I am going to do things I want to do, I'm sick of giving up my time for those who don't appreciate it! I'm sick of moaning kids (juvenile and adult ones). Kids who think they're the only people that matter in this world. I also decided to redecorate the entire house! (With a shove from my mother!) We have 31 doors in this place excluding the front and back doors so, the painters are coming to do them next week! THEN, I can handle the rest. We're being revamped from the ceiling to the floor in every last room! My friends in the States are to blame for this *S* Thanks Ted, LaRita and Virginia, you are all to blame equally! They have such lovely homes and this one has been let go for too long because of circumstances. So, if I fall behind in my site updates and emails you'll know why <grin>. I've chosen wallpaper for some os the rooms and have the paint ready to do the ceilings. I've got to sort out stuff with the travel agent for a prepaid hotel we didn't stay at, medical bills to be claimed and car hire that I didn't use but paid for.... next week will do! I chose a new bed today BUT I had my mother with me and she picked and picked, then said... "well it's nothing to do with me, you get it if you're happy with it." It's a terrible thing to say... but I could have flattened her! I held my temper, and told the salesman I'd call him.
I think Jared should go stay with his Dad on the days he's not working whether they be at the weekend or during the week. BUT NO... my mother won't hear of it! Jason isn't responsible enough (at 32 years of age) to see that Jared gets his homework done and goes to school neat and tidy! Lord, give me strength!!!!! Jason has flying visits here, unless there's something HE wants. He's scared I ask for help doing something that will eat into HIS precious time. HE has all the time in the world to do what HE likes because he has a couple of suckers in Mum and I to take care of his prime responsibility.... his son. Well, this sucker babysat for 7 straight weeks and I want time off for me! Don't get me wrong, I love Jason BUT he's a taker and not a giver and I love Jared to death, but I need a break, I need time for ME. I didn't come back from holiday to become a carer all over again! O.K. that's the end of the bitching *S* I've told my mother how I feel but I just have to pin Jason down long enough for him to listen. Did I say it was great to be home? Well, it's not! I'd rather be in the States, even with the sales tax and the tips *S* Oh yes, and the snow! Maybe some of you will remember the solicitor I had who billed me $10,000 for his effort in getting me in a bigger mess with the Protective Office. If you remember, I contacted the Law Society and letters and phone calls issued back and forth. Before I left on our trip I wrote to the Law Society and told them I would pay him $5,000 (which I still maintained was TOO much) and not a penny more! I enclosed a cheque and told them if he wasn't happy he could take me to court in mid February when I returned! I received a reply from the Law Society while I was away.... the solicitor had accepted the $5,000 as full payment of his fees and would take no further action!!!!! That put a smile on my face! The 'weed' wasn't game to go to court! I only regret that I offered so much, I bet he would have settled for $3,000. BUT at least he's off my back now and the load is lightened *S*
The Public Trustee in Brisbane also sent me a bill for the work they did on behalf of the Protective Office in Sydney regarding the Mortgage. I haven't answered them yet, BUT the reply will be... "I didn't hire you, therefore I'm not liable for the costs!" ************ 12th February 2001 Lord, I'm exhausted!!!! Not from overwork...just from thinking about it <grin>. If I thought the place was a mess when I got home... you should see it now!! Aaaargh! What HAVE I got myself into??? I spent Saturday 'in a mood' :-( I was sick of Mum getting up every morning complaining about everything, so I shut off for a day. Then I told her I was sick of her bitching about every little thing... SHE got in a mood and went to bed. Everything was O.K. by Sunday and I emptied wardrobes... when did I collect all those clothes???? **************** 18th February 2001 Have mercy!!!!! WHAT A WEEK!!!! Nothing went right.... the story of my life you say :-( We took everything out of the closets and wardrobes, laid everything on the beds... and since the painting was only supposed to take 2 days... sleeping on sofas for a couple of days wouldn't matter, it would be worth it because it would take me a lot longer to do the doors myself. That's what I thought!! We had beautiful shiny doors throughout the house, though they were a bit yellowed. You could see your reflection in them. NOT ANY LONGER!! They painted them with a roller (fair enough ) BUT they didn't tip them with a brush afterwards. THE RESULT = ORANGE PEEL textured doors! I almost cried. The gloss was gone. The head Honcho said that's the way doors are done all the time. NOT IN THIS HOUSE. I asked him why he said nothing when he saw the original glossy doors, why didn't he tell me that's not the finish he does. HE DIDN'T THINK ! I'll say he didn't think!! It's now Sunday and the doors still aren't finished. They were sandiing back the newly painted doors on Thursday and Friday, He got an "expert" from the paint company to call in to see if he could come up with a remedy. Of course, this 'expert' was a friend of his... also he used the 'expert's Company's' paint all the time so HE wasn't about to take my side.. he'd lose a good customer. We have a house full of dust, in every last corner. This wasn't necessary if he had done the right thing in the first place! They painted 2 doors on Saturday which had only been undercoated... sliding doors and blow me, but didn't they do the same damned thing! Didn't finish it off with a brush! So, they'll have to sand them back tomorrow and redo them. Maybe they didn't want to do a perfect job of THEM so that all the doors will match! Uniformly shitty!! ('scuse me.)
Well, this is Sunday, and Mum spent the entire day in bed. She got up when Jared came home at 7pm. I don't know how she does it, considering she never said a word to me all day... but I feel like HER day in bed is MY fault. The fact that the place is a mess is also MY fault. Mind you, she's the one who nagged me into redecorating. I cleaned the floors and the rest of the kitchen, put some of my clothes back in the wardrobe in my bedroom. Discovered that the inside of one of the wardrobe doors hasn't been painted. Don't know why I cleaned up, they're going to come in and make the same mess all over again tomorrow. Then I spent the rest of the day in peace fixing up my some of my photos on the computer.
So what else happened this week..... I had to go to Touch Football with Jared on Tuesday evening. His Dad conveniently made arrangements to see someone in Brisbane on Tuesday. left Monday and didn't come back until Thursday night. I was invited out for lunch on Tuesday but decided to forgo it to save hassles at home. Went to Jenny Craig on Wednesday... the only good thing that happened all week. I only put on 3kg (6lb 6oz) in all the time I was away plus the week and more that I was home. That's over 2 months. So, I'm not unhappy about that. I was so certain it was going to be more than double that. Also bought a new dining suite on Wednesday so I guess that means I have to move my computer out of the dining room. It took a while but now I know that's the reason Mum talked me into it. Oh well, when I move back into my room I can sit up till the wee small hours of the morning and she won't know and I won't care :-) You know you wouldn't think I had just spent a small fortune taking this woman on holiday. She has a very short memory. Ordered the paper for the living/dining rooms, entrance, bathrooms, toilet and laundry. Also got the paint for the TV room BUT I can't start painting until the Jerks leave.
Mum and I had a fight tonight about Jared and his problems with Maths. His father doesn't care.... why should I? We went on Friday to have him assessed for a Back To Basics maths tuition course. He has 20 tiny little pages of sums he has to do each night. I asked his father to make sure he did them last night... did he.... NO! He spent 40 minutes telling Jared why he should be doing them and didn't follow through. So, I said he'd be doing 2 lots tonight to make up. Then Jason told him he only had to do 1 lot tonight! I can't win. I just went back to my computer until Jason left. I'm too old for this. So much for my statement at the beginning of this page about doing what I want for myself. Great in theory! BAH!!!! We went to see 'Family Man' yesterday. I enjoyed it, but I was alone in that. Bah! Who cares, I like Nicholas Cage and I thought it was funny. Oh well, another week is about to begin... wonder what delights this one will hold for me. **************** Tuesday 20 February Had an unholy row with my Mother today. I hate that.... but she depresses me. Like yesterday, she spent the day in bed AGAIN after Jared left for school. Oh well, it was better that way because I didn't have to listen to her constant complaining and I got on with cleaning up the one room which doesn't need papering (at the moment). This will be Jared's room and he will have a place to put his own things. He's always had to share so I guess it will be nice for him. I put all the stuff that was lying around in my bedroom... best to have one room a BIG mess and be able to gradually sort out the others. Saturday 24th February Did I hope this week would improve????? Dream on Jamie!! I fought with everyone. But I won ONE arguement!! Jared had a dreadful week at school, Time Out every day and I was getting sick of it. He wasn't going to bed before 9pm with all the homework he was getting.. I said he only had 20 TINY pages of sums to do every night gor his Back To Basics tuition well, I forgot to say those tiny pages contained 190 sums. OOPS!! You or I could probably do them in less than 10 minutes but we're not 8 years old. His teacher suggested the course.... but Jared was getting time out for incomplete homework. Since the homework he gets on Monday hasn't to be handed in until Friday I couldn't see his point! So, I wrote him a letter! Now, any of you who have known me for a while know what my letter writing is like when I'm furious about something :-) The teacher couldn't cope.... he handed my letter to the Acting Headmistress!! She called me, we had a long talk and made an appointment to meet with her and Jared's teacher on Thursday after school. IN THE MEANTIME Jason was (unnecessarily) late picking Jared up from school on Wednesday and when he arrived Jared was nowhere to be seen. So Jason had all the teachers available looking for him. FORTUNATELY (you'll find out later why) his 2nd Grade Teacher found him in the toilets with 2 other boys, This teacher "knows" Jared and knows what he's really like. So, because they were fooling around in the toilets, they got into trouble BIG TIME!! One of the boys and Jared got a "Notification" (if they get 3 they get detention after school) the other got off with a Time Out because he had to go catch the bus! This didn't satisfy Nanny! The one that 'got off' ALWAYS weasels his way out. We talked to Jared about it when his Dad brought him home. Of course Jason didn't wait around... too many other things to do! He'd lectured Jared on the way home and thought his job was over. Remember if he (Jason) had his priorities right, he wouldn't have been late picking him up, for the second time in 3 days, and this wouldn't have happened. Jared told us the other 2 boys forced him into the toilet and that his father and teacher didn't believe him. Then he didn't want to talk about it any more, so we left it at that. Thursday afternoon we (Jason managed to find the time) had a meeting with his teacher and the acting headmistress. I had told the teacher that Jared hated school and that he hated him after only 3 weeks. He didn't care if he hated him as long as he got his work done! WELL I CARED! These should be happy days for Jared. In 3 weeks he hadn't had 'time out' on only one day! He makes no compensation for the fact Jared is a little slow with his writing and what he doesn't finish in class he does at lunchtime. He has 28 children in his class and hasn't time to spend 10 minutes each morning going over their multiplication tables. He said that the first week Jared was back at school he was acting like the class clown! I told him I didn't believe him! His record at the school proves that. For the last 3 years he has earned a "Principal's Certificate", the highest award for the year. Jared told me he talks too fast (which he does) and he can't understand him. His idea is if Jared gets enough "time outs" it will bring him into line. Is HE wrong, he obviously failed psycholgy! Each child is an individual and therefore should be handled differently. What works for one may not work for another. However, we got around to the 'Toilet Incident' which he brought up as part of Jared's "behavioural" problem. To which my response was that if his father had been there to collect him on time this wouldn't have happened! He also mentioned a story Jared had written... it had no depth! Jared's teacher at the beginning of 3rd Grade was impressed with Jared story telling, now it had changed.??. I told him I wasn't happy about the story either.. the subject matter was guns... The subject didn't bother HIM.... Really!! It bothered me! At this point his father piped in saying that Jared was in Gun Stores in the USA and that's where he got the idea for the story. I hit the roof! Looked him straight in the eye and told him we had never been near a gun store in the US!! I waited for him to tell the truth but he didn't! Didn't want to start a family arguement so I shut up. I told his teacher that Jared said he tried to explain about the toilet incident to him but he wouldn't listen. His excuse was that Jared was just trying to get out of his punishment. That night Jared finished his homework at 9:30pm, including the work for the Back to Basics. He was tired, had his bath and went to bed. He asked Mum to lie with him for a while.... bless him! This is the time Jared pours his heart out... What had happened on Wednesday afternoon was.... Jason was late collecting Jared. The other 2 boys said to Jared to come to the toilets (they had to get changed for cricket) for a 'meeting'. "Meetings" are a big thing in 8 year old boys lives :-) Once they got to the toilets they pushed Jared into the 'disabled' toilet, locked the door so he couldn't get out, one had him pinned against the wall with his arm across Jared's throat and was trying to pull Jared's pants down with his free hand. Jared was struggling to get away so, the other boy was hitting him with his sports bag containing his shoes and was trying to get Jared's fly undone!!. Mum brought Jared through to tell me the story. I asked if he'd told his teacher this.... he tried but he said Jared was lying! I told him to go to bed and not worry, I'd make sure the teacher believed him! I rang the 2nd Grade teacher who had found them on Wednesday and got her side of the story (she knows Jared well and knows that no matter what he NEVER lies) then I told her what Jared had told us and it all fitted in. She said she would see about it in the morning. I told her I was writing a letter incase his teacher wasn't there when I took Jared to school in the morning. When I got to school Friday morning he WAS there. The conversation went like this.... He: "I know ALL about it!!!".... Me:"You knew ALL about it on Wednesday but didn't believe Jared!" He: "I thought Jared was trying to get out of it." Me: "So you brushed him aside and glossed over the incident! Jared DOESN'T LIE! He hates liars! He hates people making false promises. His father lies all the time and he hates that! I want this investigated TODAY and I want something done about it!" At this point the acting headmistress turned up, delivering her child to class. Her: "Jamie, I heard what happened... we'll be talking to the boys after recess today." Me: "I want more than TALK! I want this investigated because, if it isn't investigated to my satisfaction I'll be taking it further!" Me (directed to his teacher): "Maybe in future you'll take time to listen to what the children have to say! This would have been swept under the carpet if Jared hadn't told US what happened. You knew all about this at the meeting yesterday and chose to say nothing except that Jared was in the wrong and had to take his punishment ! We could have called Jared in and asked him there and then for his side of the story!" He: "He was in the wrong place!" Me: "Does that make what happened RIGHT????" He: "No, but..." Me: "BUT nothing.... and while we're at it... I wouldn't put too much credence on anything his father tells you! He's a born liar.... He: "I don't want to get into family problems it's got nothing to...." Me: "It has everything to do with Jared and his school! Jason couldn't tell the truth if it meant saving his life! He has a problem! This affects Jared outside school and his life in school and out of school are intertwined therefore it does affect his schoolwork. Therefore you'll listen.... Jason took Jared to a gunsmith here in Hervey Bay after school one afternoon, because he was getting something for the CROSSBOW he bought Jared for Christmas which I refused to allow Jared to have! That's where he got the idea for the story about the guns! NOT from anywhere we went to in the United States! Jason knew this on Thursday but it was easier to put the blame on us. THIS is why Jared lives with us, not his father." He: "This really has nothing to do with me." Me: "It has everything to do with you! You and Jason are ready to believe the worst about Jared, well NO MORE! I want Jared kept away from those 2 boys and I don't care how you police it!" The acting headmistress interrupted saying the matter would be investigated and she'd inform me of the result. She rang me after they had the meeting with the boys. They admitted that Jared was telling the truth! She didn't even have to pump them for information... they admitted straight away. She was very sorry for what had happened and the parents of the boys would be notified. She'd also told them what the consequences would have been had they been adults and done the same thing. One for our side, finally!! There's one thing about Jared..... he's naughty at times, just like every other little normal 8 year old boy BUT HE NEVER LIES. I hope this remains with him his whole life. This isn't finished though.... I thought the least his teacher could do was apologise for not believing him... but he didn't.... BELIEVE ME, HE WILL! Wednesday 28th February I wrote a note in Jared's school diary for his teacher on Monday, suggesting it might be a good idea that HE apologise to Jared for not believing him when he was after all telling the truth. If the situation were reversed HE'D expect an apology from Jared. I also suggested that it would be appropriate for the boys to apologise also. Well, when he saw the note in the diary, he took it straight to the acting Headmistress "for advice"!! It appears he apologised to Jared and so did the boys. I thought that was the end of it. What was I thinking????? Jared came home Monday... he'd had 'time out' again at lunchtime! But he told me it was working off the fact that he had been in the toilets on last Wednesday and this was the last time out soooo would I please say nothing. That's what I did. Like I said, I figured it was over and we'd get on with getting an education now. Tuesday, when we were going through Jared's Diary there was another message from another teacher stating that an apology was to be given to another boy by Jared. He said he and this other little boy had had a little arguement at lunchtime (apparently they took a swipe at each other) and this teacher told them they both had 'time out' and were to do written apologies to each other. Now, these two boys are friends... so whatever the squabble was, they would have gotten over it. BUT now the school it seems is making an ISSUE out of every misdemeanour. What I want to know is.... are they breeding a bunch of 'pansies'?? I thought a verbal apology was good enough for an arguement, so I didn't have Jared write one. When Jason was taking Jared to school this morning he asked if Jared had written the apology, so to save his son getting into trouble he decided he should write one before going into school. Of course Jason had no writing paper in the car, so he used the inside of an envelope <snigger>. He had Jared deliver this apology to the teacher before class. Jason waited just incase he was late returning. He said if he'd said the wrong thing to Jared he's have burst into tears. This teacher said his apology was GARBAGE and he didn't have enough sentences in it! WHAT DID HE WANT.... AN ESSAY???? Right now I'm waiting for a return phone call from the Acting Headmistress and from this other teacher. This whole thing is beyond a joke! I call it harrassment. Poor Jared... he goes to school happy in the morning, he's singing all the time... then he arrives at school and it's "get Jared" every day. We're not paying thousands of dollars to the school every year for this. Well I'm off to finish the living room ceiling while I'm waiting for the phone calls..... Received a call from the Acting Headmistress... everything sorted out. I told her that Time Out every day wasn't doing much for Jared's morale! I wanted him to enjoy school... not hate it. For heaven's sake they're ONLY 8 years old... what are they trying to breed?? A bunch of wimps?? Are they going to have to give written apologies everytime they argue with someone?? She assured me they wouldn't ( I damned well hope not.). O.K. we'll see what next month brings, Got the living room ceiling finished also the cornices. Yay for Jamie.... I'm pooped!!! Didn't mention that I'd finished the TV room.. it looks lovely and bright now. At least that gives me incentive for the rest of the place. Just have the living/dining; kitchen; entrance; hallway; 2 small bedrooms; 2 bathrooms; toilet; laundry and my bedroom to go........ yawn! *S* Hope you weren't all too bored with my dismal month *S* Seems disasters follow me :-( But I'm determined not to let them get the better of me. Oh, by the way... have appointment with my solicitor on Friday, to sign papers to have the Mortgage released from the Protective Office. Catch up with you all next month! Don't forget to check out my holiday pages if you have time *S* |
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With special thanks to THE TUBES site for the DIDDL Graphics |
