NOW

He's been taken from me,

not in person, but in spirit and mind,

to a dreadful illness..

DEMENTIA!

Memories

It all seems so very long ago....

I've spent more than half my life with this man.

He did everything in his power to make me happy, even when we had to spend quite a few years regularly tripping 1300km to spend time together.

We did this because he kept his business operating in Sydney so that we could enjoy life, be comfortable, and want for nothing

Golfing Memories

The times we played golf and I hadn't a clue. The hilarity; the praise when I fluked a good shot.

When I later took up golf seriously; the new clubs... "cant play golf with just any clubs!"; reducing my handicap by 9 strokes in the first year; his genuine praise.

Then I began to beat him at a game he'd spent a lifetime playing

The mock complaints and mock accusations that I couldn't count.

The role reversal days on the course, he became known as "Georgina"

Not being a true Sagittarian, he never was fussed on travel, unless it was within Australia. I had a few trips overseas without him, never could convince him to get his passport, even though the application was provided many times.

We did have one trip to New Zealand together, though of course at the time a passport was not necessary

Other Memories

The nights out at an endless variety of restaurants, we'd laugh at the waiters mistaking us as father and daughter,,, they were embarassed...we weren't.

I acquired a taste for Snails, Oysters, Frog's legs and many other once thought, revolting delicacies!

At home, we had dinner parties galore.

The sixties and seventies found our home crammed with friends, I could never leave anyone out.

Meals that lasted from 4 in the afternoon until 10 at night. A chinese spread that never seemed to end and no 0ne wanted it to end. Three days of preparation and 6 hours of eating, good friends and fun. No-one ever wanted to go home.

Friends used to bring along their guitars and we'd be entertained with folk songs after dinner.

The time when we bought a home which we renovated, we slept in a four poster bed in the living room surrounded by boxes full of possessions... no carpets, no curtains and makeshift racks to hang our clothes.

He used to mow the grass for the elderly lady next door, never asked if she wanted it done, just did it, He was always doing things to help others.

One fellow in particular went through some bad times financially many years ago and George helped him get back on his feet. In the three and a half years this gentleman has known George has had dementia, he has not contacted me once to find out how he is keeping.

In fact none of George's so-called 'friends have made any effort to enquire as to his present state of health. Except for one gentleman, whom I have never met. He came all the way from Sydney to Hervey Bay to see him. I missed out on meeting him because I was in Sydney at a hearing.

Mind you, a group of these 'friends' were very vocal at a hearing in Sydney three years ago! They were determined to have him institutionalised in Sydney, never mind what I wanted!

George always said he never had any real friends, except me. All he had were "aquaintances". I never realised how true this was until now.

He also used to joke about the possibility of being put in a 'home'. He said if there ever came a time when he couldn't look after himself and needed assistance in daily tasks, he'd rather be dead.

I used to joke about putting him in a home because he's considerably older. Not for one minute did either of us ever believe what the future held.

I wouldn't even consider the possibility! The only time he sees the inside of a nursing home is for Respite.

I'm not even sure if he realises who I am any more. No-one (except someone in the same position) could begin to understand how that feels.

I miss my husband, I miss the good times, I miss the caring times, the surprises. I miss the bad times, the fights and arguements. I miss the dry wit, the support, the decision making we shared.

On top of this I have had to suffer at the hands of the Protective Office and Guardianship Board in Sydney. Thanks to the lies by the 'friends" at the first hearing in April 1997, I am at their mercy. I have no independence, freedom or financial control. I almost have to beg for any extras, which would come out of OUR money!

I have to put up with threats, pressure and non co-operation from the Protective Office who have lost us over $250,000 with their financial expertise. Little tin, brainless Gods, Hell bent on making my life, and many others, miserable just so they can aquire more money for their own coffers.

Proof of this is in the newspaper articles you would have read before coming to this page.

Dementia is a dreadful disease. It creeps up so very slowly you hardly notice it. Forgetfullness....a normal part of getting old (you think), until one day you suddenly realise the extent it has taken over, then it's too late, too late to do all the things you had planned.

Instead your life does an 'about face'. You now have to take on tasks you were never prepared for, giving someone else a daily shower, dressing someone else, organising haircuts, shaving (this is the worst part, trying to shave someone who won't stretch their top lip to make things easier because he just doesn't understand).

Trips in the car, he can't be left alone for a minute or he is likely to disappear. This can happen from home too, 'escapes' were a regular occurance, not so any more. The agility in being able to scale 6' fences is quite amazing. The long silences... how I wish for the days we used to have 'digs' at each other, even the days when we used to argue, anything would be better than 'nothing'.

Your own life has gone, you can't make plans, you live in a prison, doors have to be kept locked for safety reasons. I feel like a prison warden with my bunch of keys constantly within reach.